There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He just stared at his glass for over half an hour.

Then a big redneck walked up next to him, took the drink from the guy, and drank it all down. The poor man started crying. The redneck said   "Hey, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I can't stand to see a man cry."

"No, it's not that. This is the worst day of my life. First, I sleep through my alarm and I get in late to the office. My boss, outraged, fires me. When I leave to get my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I take a cab home, and when I get out of it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards inside. The cabbie just drives away."

"I walk into my home and find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I had figured out how to put an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

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