"Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences money can buy." Steve Martin


"You don't appreciate a lot of stuff in school until you get older. Little things like being spanked every day by a middle-aged woman. Stuff you pay good money for in later life." Elmo Phillips
"It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married."  George Burns


"There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL." Lynn Lavner
"It's been so long since I've had sex, I've forgotten who ties up whom." Joan Rivers
"There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?" Dustin Hoffman


"There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, 'I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked'."  Jerry Seinfeld
"Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."  Oscar Wilde

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